VERY apprehensive about playing right now... (job bad beat)

I am apprehensive about playing right now due to the fact that I am looking for a new job. And let's face it, 90% of poker (past the amateur levels) is concentration and deep thought. In the face of such uncertainty, I think it would be severely -EV to sit down and try to concentrate. I can just picture the recent chain of events (all out of my control) leaking into the silence and mood-tilting me.

I have been in IT and technology a long time. I got so good at it, that my last 3 companies were all purchased! I made considerable contributions to the bottom line and in customer satisfaction ratings, so I am in some ways a victim of my own success.

I am hoping that all that success translates to opportunity, but its a tough market. I would also like to say a public thanks for the people that have taken some time to refer me to others in their network. I am amazed at the generosity and kindness that can come from people you only get to see occasionally.

more to come...

What to do?

4 tables left in the $42k and the level is 4k/8k/1k and you are dealt 99 in the BB.
EP raises it to $18k. You have about $185k as does the EP raiser.

DEFEND?

$42k play as of late

I am playing well until the antes reach 50, then instead of ramping up the aggro, I bleed chips. This is probably the hardest part of any tournament, playing at a full table when you cant wait for good situations. Perhaps I should practice by playing 6-max cash?

In other news, I really, really want to change from donkaments to shootouts moving forward, but suddenly there are fewer choices for shootouts on the online sites. Why is that?