Two years ago, I turned down a Director level job at a big Detroit firm to stick with my high tech job in Computer and Asset Mgt. I took a promotion and became the VP of Global IT for 200m dollar company. I was making great money, had all my debt paid off, and had more than 25% equity in my home. I found myself easily coping with the responsibility and was able to measure and determine that I am good at what I do. And I was having fun... including poker. (And I stuck by my guns and did not play in the WSOP since I did not satellite my way into an event.)
But now its 2008 and my company was bought last year. This did not go well for me as I immediately did not mesh with the bug company IT executives who all came from Peoplesoft/Oracle. (A point I do not apologize for as they continue to run a poor IT department.) As I made the final table at the winter blogger table, I was officially laid-off. But, I still had my health, my home and a bright future due to an incredible resume of experiences and my recent track record of proven success... right? right?
well, if only...
My Michigan home has lost 25% of its value in the last 9 months. (A new record and the leading decline state in the nation!)
My health is not bad, but I did have to have lymph-nodes removed from my neck due to chronic pain due to unknown causes that continue to be unknown after 3 doctors. (Still, could be much worse). So, I am sore for the next few weeks.
My job prospects are WAY lower than expected. I remember telling Paul a year ago, "You couldn't afford me." At the time, it was accurate. But despite great references, successes and even solid management skills, the best I can do is small companies. Some can only afford to pay me consulting fees, others can hire me but are cash flow concerned to the point of having daily meetings on sales. I have designed entire back office infrastructures for companies, know cutting edge agile and sass software development, and ran an IT shop so efficiently, that it ran below 3% of gross revenues! Yet, I can't find a mgt position?! HUH?!
And my poker game in the last 3 weeks has reflected the above in too many ways...
But I can take some solace in events:
Although my house is low, I have a decent mortgage payment so I don't expect to "go under" and I could "hold" it even if I move.
Although my health is not stellar, I am not diagnosed with anything serious and neither is anyone in my family. Despite the lack of root-cause, I expect I am past the worst of it.
I am at the top of my game, work wise and I still expect to land something in IT executive mgt eventually. How long is the question. and where.
and I have some money saved. Enough to get by for a year if I had to. Its not alot, but its a heck of alot more than some people have.
When we hit hard times, we compare them to where we WERE, not were we could be. And maybe that is the lesson for today...
I may not have won a tournament (or even cashed) in 3 weeks, but I know I am still better than I was 2 years ago... By far! And I satellited into the $1500 6max in June, so its blogger-ific.
And when I was laid off 6 years ago, I had zero savings and some debt.
But saving money just to watch others blow it and all end up at the same place is
Sorta like playing solid at a table with Scott Fischman.
I am not sure why I am even writing this, as its very a-typical for me to discuss non-poker related topics. Maybe I just need to write it so I can better absorb it. Maybe its in the hopes of hearing some good news. Maybe I cant help it somehow. And despite the tone of this post, I am always an Optimist when it comes to the future.
Who knows? A year from now I could have a new job, and a new home in a new city and be far better off. It's good to have a goal... But for now, all I can do is spin the wheels...