Wow, what a week. I injured myself pretty badly, made a drastic career adjustment, had to get through family January birthdays, and like everyone else had to watch my savings reduced drastically. All in all, its one of those types of months that if I was younger, I would take in stride. But as I get older, really affects me mentally as I have to look back on my career to date and notice and take inventory of what I have to show for it. On the positive side though, one of the things I did have to show for it was that my experience made me employable even in this market.
Although I dont get to play as much poker as I like, I am playing very well now. Working on my long ball game last summer helped me take a FT $27k title and working on understanding chip utility and when it is appropriate to play small-ball is starting to make me dangerous.
In my league, I have vaulted up to 4th in the standings by finishing 3rd the last 2 weeks. Interesting to note that in both cases, I did not find any large mistakes that kept me from getting higher up, just the way the hands played out.
In the Mookie this week, however, I made a KNOWINGLY BAD PLAY. I was tired, Lost was on, and I had 99 and called a big raise with it. The flop was 223 and when I got re-raised all-in, I knew I should fold and start over with half my stack. (I had just spent 2 hours in my league game coming back from the SAME situation.) DESPITE knowing that, I 'gave up' and called. Why? (He shows AA). Mental mistake does not even describe what was really a DESIRE to give up. Sad. I was unprepared to WIN and therefore did not give myself a chance. That is a mistake I will not repeat no matter how I feel. If I decide to play, then I will play until I am out. Even if I lose half a stack.
Looking forward to seeing my AFC Steeler's team, who I have followed since I was a kid, have an opportunity to put Arizona in their place.
I should be looking forward to my new job, but really I am not. I am going to work MUCH harder for the same money, but I could not stay at start-up company in this economy and still feel I was doing to right thing for my family. It's the tough decisions like this, that force introspection and put our dreams on hold...